The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge with it, move with it, and join the dance. -Alan Watts

As I indicated in my last post, change isn’t always easy for me and I assume it may not be easy for you either. As you may have noticed, I’ve taken a little hiatus from my blog to contemplate this process and to adjust to my new life as an empty nester.

Guess what? Lo and behold, I feel like it’s not so bad. Sure there are times that I feel lonely and notice how quiet it is in the house without my son home. However, I’m getting accustomed to the solitude and finding it really is peaceful. I can enjoy the silence, put music on day or night without concern that he doesn’t like my music or that he’s still asleep at noon (having gotten home at 2 a.m., which is past his curfew).

I also find that I can go to sleep peacefully as I’m not waiting up for him. In that I don’t know if he is safely in his dorm room or if he’s out partying all night, I choose to assume that all is well. This is different than during his last year home, when sometimes he would ‘forget to call’ and decide to sleep at a friend’s house because it was too late to drive home. I no longer wake at 3 or 4 a.m. to find the lights still on, his shoes missing and that he’s not in his room. There were too many nights like that, when I would frantically call and text him.. with visions of his being stuck somewhere on the road, in the hospital in ICU or a parent’s worst fear.. just missing. On those several instances, my son would finally call in the morning to apologize for falling asleep at a friend’s house and waking in the late morning (usually by noon) to find 15 voice mail messages and numerous texts from me.

So although it’s different, it’s not so bad. In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit that I kinda like it. I always find that anticipating change is the most difficult part of the process. So, I think the good news is I’m starting to adjust to this lifestyle change with a new sense of comfort. And just as I am.. I look at the clock and realize he’s on his way back home for a few days before Fall term begins at college. I hope to be better at the transition to being an empty nester this time around.

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~ by ppdsus on August 20, 2011.

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