Changes that’s just the way it is, things will never be the same -Tupac Shakur
I always loved the song, Changes by Tupac Shakur better known as 2Pac. At times of big changes, I find myself drawn to the lyrics of this song. When I like a song or find it meaningful, I have been known to play it often, listening and singing along repeatedly until I (and others) finally get sick of the song and I move on to another.
So why is change such an interesting subject? I continue to blog on the subject of change as it seems to be a topic that all of us can relate to, and one that seems particularly relevant to me personally of late, as I launch my youngest child and become an empty nester.
Despite my difficulty with handling change gracefully, I have always had a particular fascination in the process of change. My attraction in this subject is apparent in various ways; choosing this topic for my blog, it being the focal point of my book on positive changes following postpartum depression, as well as the focus of my chosen profession (after all as a therapist, that’s what my professional career is all about). Every day at work, I deal with my patients making changes, their fears and anxieties around times of uncertainty, their resistance, and finally acceptance and growth as they change their attitudes, behavior and/or aspects of their lives.
I have to confess that change is not always easy for me personally. I have to admit that like many of you, I initially resist change and then spend a lot of time in my thoughts trying to imagine what that change will look like at some future time. For instance, in the last few weeks, I tried to imagine what life as an empty nester would look like. I imagined myself coming home after dropping my son off at college and walking into a dark, quiet house. Thoughts like.. lonely, sad, empty were elicited and kept running around in my mind. Truth be told, I have experienced some of those emotions, but in addition I have had some positive surprises as well. I notice that I have very little laundry, there are no wet towels on the floor of the bathroom, the house has stayed remarkably clean and my grocery bill is more than cut in half. I guess when I was anticipating change and resisting it, I only thought about the negative features and was not aware that there would be positive aspects as well.
Do you also find yourself caught up in negative thoughts and fears about change, without anticipating the positive aspects?
I suppose change is all about the unknown and perhaps that’s why some of us think of it as scary. We can not know what the future will bring, so instead we allow our mind to imagine all kinds of negative scenarios. Maybe that’s the lesson we can change.. to remind ourselves to anticipate and consider the possibility of positive outcomes.
I think I’ll try to remember this, as I take a deep breath and my CD changer moves to David Bowie singing… Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes.
The Post-Postpartum Depression Blog 